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10.01.03, 13:00
From: Your Company Headquarter
To: All Polish Speaking Staff
Subject: Improper Language Usage
It has been brought to our attention by several officials visiting our
office in Poland that offensive language is commonly used by our
polish speaking staff. Such behavior, in addition to violating our
policy, is highly unprofessional and offensive to both visitors and
staff. All personnel will immediately adhere to the following rules:
1.. Words like jeba? pies, kurewskie z˙ycie, (wulg.) and other such
expressions will not be tolerated or used for emphasis or dramatic effect,
no matter how heated a discussion may become.
2.. You will not say jebac´ when someone makes a mistake, or poca?ujcie
mnie w dupe˛ if you see someone being reprehended, or gówno when a major
mistake has been made. All forms and derivations of the verb srac´ and jebac´
are utterly inappropriate and unacceptable in our environment.
3.. No project manager, section head or administrator under any
circumstances will be referred to as (wulg.)ek, (wulg.), zajebaniec or debil.
4.. Lack of determination will not be referred to as srac´ nor will
persons who lack initiative be referred to as (wulg.).
5.. Unusual or creative ideas offered by management are not to be
referred to as pierdo?y.
6.. Do not say idz´ sie˛ jebac´ if somebody is persistent; do not
add pojeb, if a colleague is going through a difficult situation.
Furthermore, you must not say zjebalis´my to (refer to item 2) nor
wyjebiemy sie˛ na tym when a matter becomes excessively complicated.
7.. When asking someone to leave you alone, you must not say poca?uj
mnie w dupe˛ nor should you ever substitute "May I help you?"
with "Czego (wulg.) chcesz!?".
8.. Under no circumstances should you ever call your elderly industrial
partners kurewski dostawca.
9.. Do not say idz´cie do pizdy z tym (wulg.)em when a relevant project is
presented to you, nor should you ever answer metrowy (wulg.) ci w dupe˛
when your assistance is required.
10.. You should never call partner representatives as zajebana s´winia
or kurewski debil.
11.. The sexual behavior of our staff is not to be discussed in terms
such as (wulg.) jebana, kurewskie bydle or (wulg.)owy peda?.
12.. Last but not least, after reading this note, please do not say
moge˛ sobie tym podetrzec´ ty?ek! Just keep it clean and dispose of it
properly.
Thank you.
