American joke

[Gość: Sar6092]

What do you call a person who speaks many languages?
- a multilingual,

What do you call a person who speaks two languages?
- a bilingual,

What do you call a person who speals only one language?
- an American.....

[Gość: together]

The guy goes to the doctor and complains about the pain in his balls.
The doc examins him and diagnosis is: "Your balls are pressing against you spine
and that causes the pain. All you need to do is to cut them off". At first the
guy dismisses the advice but after suffering the unbearable pain for number of
days he finally undergoes the procedure. Being fully cured he is dismissed from
the hospital. On the way home he walks by the men's clothing store and decides
to go in for a little shopping. "I'd like to buy myself a suit" he says to a
salesman. The salesman takes a good look at him and says " You are size 46
regular". "That's amazing. How do you know that?" says the guy. "Well, I've
been working in this store for 20 years" says salesman. After fitting the suit
the guy decides to buy the shirt. "You are size 17-35". "That's amazing. How do
you know that?" says the guy. "Well,I told you I've been working in this store
for 20 years" says salesman. At last the guy decides to by himself an underwear.
Salesman looks at him again and says " You are size 38". " No, this time you're
wrong. I wear size 34" says the guy. Salesman looks at him again and says
" Sir, if you wore size 34, your balls would press hard against your spine
causing you unbearable pain".

[Gość: Sar6092]

you didn't get my joke Togehter, it meant to be offensive to American folks
just as polish jokes are to the poles ....duh. Got it

PS.I'm sure you got it but you're pretending otherways, because my joke hurt
your feelings...lol

[Gość: together]

Gość portalu: Sar6092 napisał(a):

> you didn't get my joke Togehter, it meant to be offensive to American folks
> just as polish jokes are to the poles ....duh. Got it
> PS.I'm sure you got it but you're pretending otherways, because my joke hurt
> your feelings...lol

Your joke was lame. And entirely not offensive. Did not hurt my feelings at all.
There is one below I've found on this forum:

Stanley came to America three years ago. He left his wife and two sons behind.
One summer day he went to Coney Island, to the beach. Walking down the water's
edge he picked up the bottle. It was heavy so he opened it. To his surprise
genie came out and asked him for one wish." But remember, you have only one
wish so think good before you say it" said genie.
Stanley thought for a while and then said " I have not been in the old country
for last three years and I'm so homesick. Why don't you build me a bridge over
the Atlantic Ocean so I can drive there "
Genie looked at him and said " Come on. Why would you need a bridge if you can
fly there? Think harder. Give me a real wish"
Stanley took a deep breath and said : I have two sons in the old country. I
want the younger one to become a brain surgeon and the older one to become a
rocket scientist." Hearing this, genie looked at Stanley and asked " You want
lights on that bridge?"

real life joke

[Gość: hub]

I was sitting with few people in the student’s cafeteria, there were me, some
French girls, and Americans. One of the Americans (quite intelligent guy) ask
one of the French girls:

“How did you manage to learn French, it is such a difficult language”

no comments

[maggie7]

I was talking to this one lady about a company she works for. She told me they
had a branch in Europe, in Belgium. So I asked here what town in Belgium. Then
she said: "what do you mean 'what town'? Belgium is the town of course, you
know, somewhere in Germany or Austria..."
:o)

[Gość: together]

Poor Belgium.
When my daughter told her friend that she is going to Belgium for vacations,
she was asked " Wow, it's in London, isn't it? Cool."

[Gość: hub]

more stories like that:

One American guy in a plane asked me where do I come from, I said from Poland
he said: WOW, my grand father was from...but I don't remember Poland or Holand

[Gość: noder]

So what ?

I am sure you guys know everything !

[Gość: hub]

Gość portalu: noder napisał(a):

> So what ?
>
> I am sure you guys know everything !

At least we know where our ancestry come form

[Gość: noder]

whatever !

[Gość: Sar6092]

Gość portalu: noder napisał(a):

> whatever !

Exactly, everyone loves to hear jokes but never about themselves...lol

[Gość: noder]

take a hike

[Gość: Sar6092]

Gość portalu: noder napisał(a):

> take a hike

Don't cry. You're emotionaly so weak. I guess you would die of the depression
if you were Polish and had to hear the idiots like yourself who tell polish
jokes that are lame and don't make any sense..lol

[adderek]

What´s the difference between an english ale and a couple making love on the
beach?
None. Both are fucking close to water ...


There was a world Expo on new technologies.
One of the most interesting high tech was a "Potatoe Peeling Machine"
manufactured by XXX(put in what you want), it is as large as a room in size...
every other countries were so interested in and wanna find out more about it.
Many companies wanna test it out first by putting 1 potatoe in at the top of
the machine, 30secs later ... it came out with fully peeled, clean, sliced.
People were so amazed... so they try again with 5 potatoes... about 2 mins
later they all came out peeled, cleaned and sliced...
This time is the last demo of this high tech machine, people shuff 1kg of
potatoes in there...suddenly there was a human voice responded from inside of
the machine :
"Fuck you all, please put in ONLY 1 potatoe at a time... !!"

Ein Fremder spricht einen Einheimischen an:
"Sprechen Sie Deutsch?"
"Ein bißchen. Du you speak English?
"A little"
"So let us speak English. Why should I be the thick one, that disgrace oneself"

and not american one

[adderek]

Immigration office:
- Sex?
- Three times a week.
- No... I mean male or female?
- Doesn´t matter.

[Gość: hub]

adderek napisał:

> Immigration office:
> - Sex?
> - Three times a week.
> - No... I mean male or female?
> - Doesn´t matter.

this is great one!

[tfuj_aniou_strusz]

Gość portalu: Sar6092 napisał(a):

> What do you call a person who speaks many languages?
> - a multilingual,
>
> What do you call a person who speaks two languages?
> - a bilingual,
>
> What do you call a person who speals only one language?
> - an American.....
sad but true.
why would they learn any language if they live in the most powerfull country in
the world.
why would they learn anything.
they don`t know the basics.
10 year ol pole knows more than adult american

sorry




yur_gard_anjel

Sar's American joke

[Gość: interested]

Sar... Do you enjoy living in the States?

[Gość: Antoni]

this a lie.

[dandelion]

Yeah,sure.Sar you probably mean some of the Polish folks living in the US.A lot
of Americans can speak 2 or even 3 languages.Mother - German, father - French,
and especially the mMexicans.LOL. Have a nice day anyway.

[Gość: hehehehe]

We cannot generalize whether every nation speaks one, two or even more
languages.

[chickenshorts]

one is Hebrew the other American English - which is which?

www.winternet.com/~mik.elr/flame3.html

[Gość: adi]

this is one for those who don't like bush but listen to him very carefully:)

sunday evening-Bush and his wife are eating supper and suddenly bush asks
'Sweetheart, do you know how is our children?'

have you noticed that bush has problems with words 'persecution'
and 'prosecution'?

[Gość: together]

no he don't. Like every other southerner he has a problem with word nuclear.
In his mouth it turns to nucular.

[Gość: chickenShorts]

Gość portalu: together napisał(a):

> no he don't. Like every other southerner he has a problem with word nuclear.
> In his mouth it turns to nucular.

'no, he don't', Rev??! No, he ain't!!!

Going back to the subject of this thread, isn't a "land of the free" a bit of
a joke? Or even a double joke? As mr Humphreys of Portland, Ore., found out when
presented with a three year jail sentence for making a joke about "burning
Bush"? Ha, no sense of humour on top of everything else. Burn Bush! burn
Bush!!! and see if God speaks through a 'burning Bush', hahaha...