please check my memo...

[krism50]

Czy jest to dobrze zrobione? Bardzo dziękuję za pomoc!!!


To: CEO
From: Mr Alex Zorba, Diroector of Valentino Chocolates
Subject: Investment plan
Date: 27th of April 2006

In recent years Valentino has become one of Europe`s leading brand of
chocolate. It is now ready to become a succesful international business. The
Board of Directors has agreed the following investment plan. First of all we
decide to invest in more resarch and development because new, innovatives
products are profitable. For better and faster production we will buy a new
machinery. To increase our selling important is plough a marketing campaigne.
Nowadays valid market is E-Market, so we have to set up online sales. Next aim
is invest in US market. This is large outlet and our products should appear
there. And last but weighty point is invest ina an existing group of cafes. It
will be great promotion and way of selling of Valentino`s Chocolates.

If You approve my plan, please let me know your point of view about
progress of our business as soon as possible.

[kasiasmom]

Board of Directors agreed to the following...decided to invest...innovative
products...To improve and speed up the production...to increase our sales we
will launch a marketing campaign...E-market is the fastest growing market
today...Our next goal is to enter US market, because of its great potential.
And last, but not least, we should market our product more aggresively in
cafes.
Ostatnie zdanie nie wiem, nie mam doswiadczenia z business correspondence :-(
Moze ktos jeszcze Ci doradzi...

[krism50]

bardzo dziękuję Kasiu!!!

[mag1974]

To jest Memo, więc proponuję krócej i bardziej bezosobowo:

RECENTLY Valentino has become one of Europe`s leading brand of
chocolate. It is now ready to become a succesful international PLAYER. The
Board of Directors has agreed the following investment plan. FirstLY, we
decideD to invest in R&D because new, innovative products are profitable. IN
ORDER TO IMPROVE OUR PRODUCTION PROCESS, A NEW MACHINERY WILL BE PURCHASED. "To
increase our selling important is plough a marketing campaigne." TEGO W OGÓLE
NIE ROZUMIEM.
DUE TO GROWING IMPORTANCE OF E-COMMERCE WE NEED TO LAUNCH online sales. THE
next aim is TO invest in US market. DUE TO ITS LARGE SIZE our products should
ENTER IT. And LAST BUT NOT LEAST is TO invest in existing group of cafes. It
will BRING IN great promotion EFFECT and BE A GREAT selling CHANNEL FOR of
Valentino`s Chocolates. (CHYBA, BO NIEZBYT ROZUMIEM SENS TEGO STWIERDZENIA).
YOUR ASAP COMMENTS ON THE progress of our business WOULD BE VERY APPRECIATED.

[kasiasmom]

Myslisz, ze "inwestowanie w rynek amerykanski" i "inwestowanie w istniejace
kawiarnie" sa poprawne? Ja mialam co do tego watpliwosci, dlatego to zmienilam
(zwlaszcza to pierwsze nasuwaloby skojarzenia z inwestowaniem na gieldzie
(stock market).

[easystreet]

Chwala poprzednikom za zakasanie rekawow. Zostawie sobie poprawe poprawki:

leading brand of CHOCOLATES...nie czekolady jako surowca, tylko jako gotowych
produktow, prawda?
...has agreed TO the following
First, (firstly)
new machinery/production hardware bez "a"
due TO the growing impact, a nie importance, bo to polonizm
...THE US market
nigdy last but not least...to pustoslowie! Memos should be to the point!and
uzyj "finally",
It will be an excellent venue for promoting sales of Valentino Chocolates.

[kasiasmom]

Nie bede sie klocic o "last, but not least" :-) Mam jednak pewne zastrzezenia
do uzycia slowa "impact", ktore glownie oznacza wplyw, a w tym kontekscie
uzycie slowa "waznosc" jest jak najbardziej na miejscu. Poza tym, z tym
polonizmem to troche sie zagalopowales... Posadzasz Oscara Wilde'a o uzywanie
polonizmow? ("The Importance of Being Earnest" sie klania) :-)

[easystreet]

100 plus lat temu, jak najbardziej! Dzis w odniesieniu do wplywow, zasiegu
rynkowego "importance" brzmi pompatycznie i archaicznie, ale niech Ci bedzie.
raczej spotykam sie w prasie z significant impact on the economy, nie "the
importance of something in the economy", the value, market-worthiness, or even
scope of a product. Importance do produktow nie bardzo pasuje, raczej do
dzialan. A zreszta, memo juz pewnie dawno napisane i prasa na nowo donosi.....

[easystreet]

i nie chodzi o "klocenie sie", ale o wykurzanie z jezyka pustoslowia i
slynnego "redundancy".
-------------------
why use why use four words when one will do?