Sign of age

[spector1]

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a
bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says:

"Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I
know you're about my age. How do you feel?"

Slim says, "I feel just like a newborn baby."

"Really? Like a newborn baby!?"

"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants."

[patka427]

Symptoms---------
After his exam the doctor said to the elderly man, "You appear to be in good
health. Do you have any medical concerns you would like to ask me about?"
"In fact, I do," said the old man. "After I have sex I am usually hot and
sweaty, and then, after I have sex with her the second time, I am usually cold
and chilly."
After examining his elderly wife, the doctor said, "Everything appears to be
fine. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?"
The lady replied that she had no questions or concerns. The doctor then said to
her: "Your husband had an unusual concern." He claims that he is usually hot and
sweaty after having sex with you the first time, and then cold and chilly after
the second time. Do you know why?"
"Oh that crazy old jerk," she replied. "That’s because the first time is usually
in August and the second time is in January!"

[patka427]

Three old men, one in his sixties, one in his seventies and one in his
eighties, meet for a drink in a bar. The sixty year old says, "Every night I
wake up at 2am and have to go to the bathroom for a pee". The seventy
year old says, "That’s nothing, every night I wake up at 3am and have to go
to the bathroom for a pee and a poo at the same"! The eighty year old says, "
well thats nothing, "I go to the toilet every morming at 6am, regular as
clockwork". The sixty year old says, "well what’s the problem here then"?
The eighty year old says, "well I don’t wake up till 10am"!!!

[patka427]

Robbing An Old Lady.........
An old maid was held up in a dark alley. She explained she had no money, but the
robber insisted that it must be in her bra and started feeling around.
"I told you I haven’t got any money," the spinster said, "but if you keep doing
that, I’ll write you a check! ."

[patka427]

old couple in church and the lady says to her husband
"Ive just done a silent fart what should i do?"
the husband replies "put a battery in your hearing aid."

[aleksandrawu]

I love this one!LOL!

[andreas3233]

Girl: Oh, I'm on my menstrual cycle...
Boy: Don't worry, I've got a car...