discursive essay - proszę o sprawdzenie

[matka_chrzestna]

Cześć :)
Proszę o sprzawdzenie i poprawienie błędów w mojej pracy :)

More and more young people want to have a job during a holiday. But most of
them do not want to work in their motherland. Why it is worth working abroad
in vacation?

First of all, working in foreign lands you may learn a lot of things. You are
able to improve your use of foreign language by conversation with natives.
You usually have to get up early to the work and do your task correctly, so
responsibility and punctuality are next things, which young workers can learn.

Another thing is that, working abroad people become acquainted. You are
likely to meet your best friend or even fall in love. Holiday are conductive
o it. Additionally in free time from work, employees may go sightseeing. As a
result, it gives them better knowledge about native’s traditions and customs.

It is also true, that job in the world outside gives higher money. Having
money makes you independent and respect. It is very important, especially for
young people whose have large needs. When you earn money on your own it is
easier to buy whatever you want. Holiday’s workers also learn hot to plan
expenses and how to save.

In conclusion working abroad during holiday gives you huge experience. You
will be feel more confident in your next job and it will be easier to find a
new job with some qualifications. Therefore it is worth to work abroad.

Dziękuję :)
Pozdrawiam ;)
Matka Chrzestna 8)

pozmieniałam ;)

[matka_chrzestna]

Nowadays more and more young people want to have a job during holidays. But
most of them do not want to work in their motherland. Why is it worth working
abroad during holidays?

First of all, working in foreign countries you may learn a lot of new things.
You are able to improve the use of a foreign language by having conversations
with native speakers. You usually have to get up early to go to the work and to
do your task correctly so responsibility and punctuality are the next things
which young workers can learn.

Another thing is that, people working abroad become acquainted to each other.
You are likely to meet your best friend or even fall in love. Holidays are in
favour to it. Additionally, in the free time from work employees may go
sightseeing. As a result, it gives them better knowledge about local traditions
and customs.

It is also true that a work outside your own country gives a higher salary.
Having money makes you independent and respected. It is very important
especially for young people who needs are larger. When you earn money on your
own it is easier to buy whatever you want. Holiday workers also learn how to
plan expenses and how to save.

In conclusion, working abroad during holidays gives you a lot of experience.
You will be feel more confident in your next job and it will be easier to find
a new job with some qualifications. Therefore, it is worth to work abroad.

pozdrawiam :)

[mudzyn7]

Man oh man, I'm sorry for the earlier comments, but You have your individual style of writing, which kicks ass!!!

Dzisiaj nic nie wniose, ale fajnie sie je czyta.
(Wydaje mi sie, moge sie mylic, ze mieszkasz w Polsce?), tak fajnie nauczyc sie jezyka, niezle!

[matka_chrzestna]

I don't know why but I like writing. I don't read books so my vocabulary is
very poor. But writing is some king of expressing my point of view and myself.
If someone doesn’t want to listen what I have to say, I can write it and I feel
better. :P ;P ;)

Yes I live in Poland in small middle of nowhere.

[mudzyn7]

Coz powiedziec? Jezeli nie: "Keep up the good work"!