tekst znaleziony na albańskim forum internetowym napisany przez
Albańczyka o Albańczykach:
YOU ARE ALBANIAN WHEN:
1.You are 36 and your mother still makes your bed.
2.You can name a gun just by the sound it makes when it fires.
3.You have an Albanian eagle tattoo or you wear it on a necklace.
4.There is either a black Mercedes or BMW on your driveway.
5.Your parents tell you stories about how they had to walk 8 miles
in 5 feet of snow in mountains just to go to school.
6.Raki is like holy water in your house you use it to cure all
7.You wear an armani shirt when u work out or go to the gym.
8.The only cigarettes u smoke are Marlboro and the only beer u drink
9.You end up in jail on your brothers wedding day for shooting your
9mm in the middle of the street during the wedding gathering.
10.When you're a girl and your brother beats up your guy-friends
cause he thinks they're your boyfriends.
11.You open up a million dollar business and if it doesn't work out
u burn it down and collect insurance
12.At least one time in your life u have owned a BMW M3
13.You have atleast one cousin who's in jail for murder
14. when you have a huge albanian flag hanging in your room or
15.Whenever you're with an Albanian and you don't know their name u
just call them "ej Shqipe"
16.All of your dads co-workers know the history of Albania and
17.You dress up just to take the garbage out.
18.You didn't pass kindergarten because your parents never teached
you how to speak English( thats about Albanians living in USA or UK)
19.You start smoking at the age of 13
20.You live in places like New York,London,Italy or Greece.
21.Your grandfather wears that white egg looking Albanian hat
22.You own a leather jacket
23.You either own a restaurant, pizzeria, building hotel etc.
24.You have atleast one aunt or uncle who lives in the Bronx
25.Your father is always trying to unite the Albanian community
26.You drive the most expensive car at your school
27.Your neighbors understand words:"t'qif*** nonen"and"vdeksh
28. when you wear albanian clothes to show that you are patriotic.
29.You go to Albanian parties and functions just to show off
30.Your mother calls all cerials "cherriosa"
31.You can be killed in a blood feud and be known as a family hero
32.You got in trouble in 10th grade when u spray painted an Albanian
eagle on your highschool wall
33.Your favorite hockey player is tie domi just because he's Albanian
34.When you blame others for your mistakes&U never admit you’r wrong.
35.You are known to vandalize nightclubs with your boys and cousins
36.You can be heard 3 blocks away blasting sinan hoxha and bujar
qamili greatest hits
37.You have more alcohol in your house then the local bar
38.Your mom yells at you in Albanian infront of your American
39.You invite 1,000 people to your wedding and you only know 300 of
40.Your grandmother steals silverware from restaurants.
41. Yourr mom beats you up infront of ur teacher.
42. You know you are albanian when you see a hot girl & u say "O
NONE O NONEEEEEEEE" !!!!!!!!!!!!!
43.You think every famous white rapper is part Albanian.
44.You can read words like: gjergj, qyrra, gjeagjez etc.
45.You always talk about Albanian History infront of others.
46.You'r dad wants you to drink raki because it makes u a man.
47.You pretend to talk on your cell just to look nice.
48.When you use "Kos" (yogurt) to soothe your sunburn.
49.You know you are Albanian when the solution of any of your
problems is violence
50.When j-walking comes naturally to you
51.You can spot an Albo a mile away.
52.When half of your relatives drive a Benz or a BMW.
53.Your relatives alone could populate a small city.
54.You always say "open the light", instead of "turn the light on".
55.You say bye 15 times before hanging up the phone.
56.Your parents don't realize phone connections to foreign countries
have improved in the last two decades and still scream when making
long distance calls.
57.Yor are Albanian when youre always getting into a fight at a bar
58.When your mom kicks youre ass with a wooden spoon & youre married.
59.When none of your friends can be with ur ex boyfriend/girlfriend
60.You have never been grounded, you just got ur ass beat.
61.When after you finish eating at restaurant,your parents will
check the bill 25times & make sure its right & re check with a
calculator on their cell.
62.You're obsessed with soccer:you watch it24/7..no matter whose
63.There is no such thing as talkin in normal tones..only yelling..
64.Your home is full of medicines from Albania&it's all illegal here.
65.your parents have never gone on vacation anywhere but Albania.
66.you carry RAKI back here from Albania in plastic coke or water
bottles under tons of clothing in the suitcase
68.You know how to swear in manny different languages!
69.When you have a collection of Kalashnikovs (ak-47) back home
70.Your perents are asking You are You agree to your sister married