scenariusz

[Gość: ja]

może tłumaczonko ?

\HYDE: Whatever. Whatever. Yeah, like I care. All right, I'll talk to you
later, Jackie.

ERIC: Eww! Do you mind not getting all gooey and romantic when I'm about to
eat my breakfast?

HYDE: What crawled up your butt?

ERIC: You and Jackie. Then you started making out in there.

RED: Hey! No more butt talk at breakfast.

ERIC: Look, if you're not gonna break up with Jackie, then you have to tell
Kelso, ok? It's, like, the ethical thing to do.

HYDE: Thank you, Johnny Cub Scout. What are you going to do? Take away my
friendship merit badge?

ERIC: No, because Cub Scouts are awarded achievement beads. (Chuckles while
Red and Hyde look at him unamused) Badges.

KITTY: (walking over to table with a bowl of food) So, anybody hungry?

HYDE & RED: Yeah.

ERIC: Smells good.


KITTY: Ladies first. (She begins to shovel nearly the whole contents of the
bowl onto her plate.)

ERIC: Or ladies only.

KITTY: Oh, well, um…well, it's not all for me. (She puts the bowl in the
middle of the table.) I'm eating for 2 now. I'm pregnant!

HYDE: What?

ERIC: What?

RED: Oh, God, no! (He looks at Kitty who looks upset.) I mean…great!

ACT ONE

SCENE ONE


RED: Kitty…are you sure you're-you're pregnant? Maybe you're just putting on
your winter weight.

KITTY: Red, a woman knows. Not to mention, I'm late. And not for work. For my
menstrual cycle. Hooray!


HYDE: That is great news, Mrs. Forman. (He hugs and kisses Kitty.) Now, stay
away from those smokes. If you smoke when you're pregnant, they come out all
spindly. (He subtly gestures to Eric.)

ERIC: Shut up. (Stands up and hugs Kitty.) Mom, congratulations. This is
awesome. Please love me the most.

KITTY: Well, you're sure being quiet over there, Red.

RED: I'm…soaking in the moment.

KITTY: Ok, I know this is unexpected, but I just think it's gonna bring us so
much happiness, don't you?

RED: (with fake smile.) Sure. You know how much I love babies.

KITTY: (claps her hands.) Oh, what a day! I'm so happy! I'm just-I'm just
gonna go throw up.


RED: I just don't understand how this could have happened.

ERIC: Hmm. Maybe it's about time we had "the talk." (Sighs) You see, when a
boy loves a girl-

HYDE: He doesn't have to love her.

ERIC: That's true. Anywhoo, the boy's sexual organ-

RED: (Unamused) Hey! Shut it, dumbass!

ERIC: Oh, that kid's gonna love it here.

SCENE TWO

DONNA: I can't believe they're having a baby.

ERIC: I can't believe they're still having sex. (The guys stop playing ball
and walks over to them.) I mean, my dad's back goes out if you look at him
wrong.

HYDE: That's why she was probably on top.

ERIC: Thanks. Thanks, Hyde. You just killed a part of me.

KELSO: Yeah, that's why you gotta put on your raincoat every damn time. Well,
except for the first time. Free pass!

FEZ: Oh, Kelso, that's just a myth. You're only safe if you do it underwater.
Right, Hyde?

HYDE: (Winding watch.) That's right, buddy.


KELSO: Oops. (Purposely drops the ball.) Little help, Donna?

DONNA: Sure. (She bends down and picks up the ball as the guys check out her
ass while cheering.) Catch this, tool! (She lobs the ball at his head, but he
ducks.)

KELSO: What was that for?

DONNA: You keep dropping the ball!

KELSO: So I'm a butterfingers! Isn't that punishment enough? Now look. The
balls all the way over there in the back yard. A little help, Donna? (She
punches his arm.) Ahh! Fine! I'll get it! God! (He storms off to get the
ball.)

JACKIE: (walking up to them all.) Hey, Steven. I had a fun last night.

KELSO: (Bounding back to them with the basketball in his hands.) You had fun
doing what?

JACKIE: Huh? Hey! Michael! I went to the movies. Right Donna?

DONNA: Oh, um, I don't know. I was with Eric all night. But I'm really
interested in this movie. Why don't you tell us all about it?

JACKIE: Donna! Fine. You know, it's that new movie starring that big red
whore.

DONNA: Oh, you mean the one where the big red whore is sick of people keeping
secrets?

JACKIE: No, no, no. The one where the big red whore keeps sticking her big
red nose in places where it doesn't belong?

ERIC: Hey, watch what you say about the big red whore.

FEZ: Thank you, Eric. What did Sissy Spacek ever do to any of you?

KELSO: Way to go, guys. You know how he feels about Sissy! (He throws down
the ball then storms after the little foreign kid.) Fez, wait!

JACKIE: Donna, what is with you?

DONNA: Look, I'm sick of covering for your creepy, unnatural relationship,
and I shouldn't have to. I mean, Hyde, you and Kelso have been friends
forever, and you owe it to him to tell him.

ERIC: Yeah, this is way worse than when you stole his headgear and used it to
clean out your sink.

HYDE: It's tough love, man.

DONNA: You know what? Forget it. You obviously don't care about Kelso or any
of the rest of us.

ERIC: Yeah, 'cause when this blows up, guess what, we're all screwed.


JACKIE: Steven…do you really think we're a creepy, unnatural couple?

HYDE: Come on. It's a crazy question. I mean, if this relationship wasn't
just a little bit creepy and unnatural I wouldn't be in it.

[chris-joe]

Gość portalu: ja napisał(a):

) może tłumaczonko ?
(niestety nie znam wspolczesnego slangu polskiego, wiec tlumaczenie moze
brzmiec sztucznie... Takze zalozylem, ze Jackie to dziewczyna, nie wiem czy
slusznie.)

) \HYDE: Whatever. Whatever. Yeah, like I care. All right, I'll talk to you
) later, Jackie.
("whatever" oznacza ostentacyjny bral zainteresowania tym, co wlasnie zostalo
powiedziane) Akurat mnie to obchodzi! No, dobra, pogadamy o tym pozniej,
Jackie.

) ERIC: Eww! Do you mind not getting all gooey and romantic when I'm about to
) eat my breakfast?

("eww"- wyraz obrzydzenia) Czy moglbys sie mi sie nie rozplywac romantycznie,
gdy wlasnie zbieram sie do sniadania?

) HYDE: What crawled up your butt?
Co ci w tylek wlazlo?

) ERIC: You and Jackie. Then you started making out in there.
Ty i Jackie. I tam zaczeliscie sie obsciskiwac.

) RED: Hey! No more butt talk at breakfast.
Hej, dosc gadki o tylku przy sniadaniu.

) ERIC: Look, if you're not gonna break up with Jackie, then you have to tell
) Kelso, ok? It's, like, the ethical thing to do.
Sluchaj no, jesli nie zerwiesz z Jackie, musisz o tym powiedziec Kelso, ok?
Tego, kurcze, wymaga etyka.

) HYDE: Thank you, Johnny Cub Scout. What are you going to do? Take away my
) friendship merit badge?
Wielkie dzieki, Johnny, wzorowy Zuchu. Co mi zrobisz? Odbierzesz mi tarcze
za bycie dobrym przyjacielem?
("tarcza" w znaczeniu zdobywanych tarcz przez Zuchow)

) ERIC: No, because Cub Scouts are awarded achievement beads. (Chuckles while
) Red and Hyde look at him unamused) Badges.
Nie, bo Zuchy dostaja koraliki za zaslugi, a nie tarcze. (Chichocze, podczas
gdy Red i Hyde patrza na niego bez cienia rozbawienia)

) KITTY: (walking over to table with a bowl of food) So, anybody hungry?
(podchodzac do stolu z miska jedzenia) To co? Ktos chce jesc?

) HYDE & RED: Yeah.
Tak.

) ERIC: Smells good.
Dobrze pachnie.

) KITTY: Ladies first. (She begins to shovel nearly the whole contents of the
) bowl onto her plate.)
Pierwsze panie. (Zaczyna nakladac prawie cala zawartosc miski na swoj talerz)

) ERIC: Or ladies only.
A raczej: tylko panie.

) KITTY: Oh, well, um…well, it's not all for me. (She puts the bowl in the
) middle of the table.) I'm eating for 2 now. I'm pregnant!
No coz, to nie tylko dla mnie. (Stawia miske na srodku stolu) Ja teraz jem za
dwoje. Jestem w ciazy.

) HYDE: What?
Co takiego?

) ERIC: What?
Co takiego?

) RED: Oh, God, no! (He looks at Kitty who looks upset.) I mean…great!
O boze, tylko nie to! (Spoglada na Kitty, ktora wyglada na zmartwiona) Znaczy
sie... to fantastycznie!

) ACT ONE
) SCENE ONE

) RED: Kitty…are you sure you're-you're pregnant? Maybe you're just putting
) on your winter weight.
Kitty, jestes pewna, ze jestes, no wiesz... w ciazy? Moze po prostu troche
przytylas na zime.

) KITTY: Red, a woman knows. Not to mention, I'm late. And not for work. For my
) menstrual cycle. Hooray!
Red, kobiety sie nie myla w tych sprawach. Nie mowiac o tym, ze jestem
spozniona. Nie do pracy, tylko z miesiaczka. Hura!

) HYDE: That is great news, Mrs. Forman. (He hugs and kisses Kitty.) Now, stay
) away from those smokes. If you smoke when you're pregnant, they come out all
) spindly. (He subtly gestures to Eric.)
To swietna wiadomosc, pani Forman. (Obejmuje i caluje Kitty). I trzymaj sie z
daleka od fajek. Jesli sie pali w ciazy, dzieciaki beda pokrecone. (Daje
dyskretny znak Eric'owi)

) ERIC: Shut up. (Stands up and hugs Kitty.) Mom, congratulations. This is
) awesome. Please love me the most.
Zamknalbys sie. (wstaje i obejmuje Kitty) Gratulacje, mamusiu. To odlotowo.
Nie kochaj nikogo jak mnie, bardzo cie prosze.

) KITTY: Well, you're sure being quiet over there, Red.
A ty, Red, nic nie mowisz.

) RED: I'm…soaking in the moment.
Rozkoszuje sie ta chwila.

) KITTY: Ok, I know this is unexpected, but I just think it's gonna bring us so
) much happiness, don't you?
Ok, ja wiem, ze nikt sie tego nie spodziewal, ale mysle, ze to nam da mnostwo
radosci, a wy nie?

) RED: (with fake smile.) Sure. You know how much I love babies.
(usmiechajac sie sztucznie) Jasne, przeciez wiesz jak bardzo lubie dzieci.

) KITTY: (claps her hands.) Oh, what a day! I'm so happy! I'm just-I'm just
) gonna go throw up.
(zaciska dlon w dloni) Ach, co za dzien! Czuje sie tak szczesliwa! Ja, ja...
ja ide zwymiotowac.

) RED: I just don't understand how this could have happened.
Nie rozumiem tylko, jak to sie stalo.

) ERIC: Hmm. Maybe it's about time we had "the talk." (Sighs) You see, when a
) boy loves a girl-
Hm, Zdaje sie, ze czas najwyzszy, by porozmawiac na "te tematy". (wzdycha)
Otoz, gdy chlopak kocha dziewczyne....

) HYDE: He doesn't have to love her.
Wcale nie musi jej kochac.

) ERIC: That's true. Anywhoo, the boy's sexual organ-
Fakt. Tak, czy inaczej, narzad plciowy chlopaka...

) RED: (Unamused) Hey! Shut it, dumbass!
(bez cienia rozbawienia) Hej, przymknij sie, durniu.

) ERIC: Oh, that kid's gonna love it here.
Widze, ze ten dzieciak bedzie tu mial swietnie.

) SCENE TWO

) DONNA: I can't believe they're having a baby.
Po prostu nie moge uwierzyc, ze beda mieli dziecko.

) ERIC: I can't believe they're still having sex. (The guys stop playing ball
) and walks over to them.) I mean, my dad's back goes out if you look at him
) wrong.
A ja nie moge uwierzyc, ze oni nadal uprawiaja seks. (chlopcy przestaja grac w
pilke i [Eric] zbliza sie do nich) Bo ojciec ma bole plecow, gdy tylko wiatr
troche zawieje.

) HYDE: That's why she was probably on top.
Dlatego ona pewnia siedziala na nim.

) ERIC: Thanks. Thanks, Hyde. You just killed a part of me.
Wielkie dzieki, Hyde. Wlasnie odebrales mi pare lat zycia.

) KELSO: Yeah, that's why you gotta put on your raincoat every damn time. Well,
) except for the first time. Free pass!
No tak, dlatego trzeba, kurcze, zakladac kapturek za kazdym razem. No, z
wyjatkiem pierwszego razu. Ten jest gratis.

) FEZ: Oh, Kelso, that's just a myth. You're only safe if you do it underwater.
) Right, Hyde?
Kelso, to tylko bajka. Jestes bezpieczny tylko, kiedy to robisz pod woda. Nie
jest tak, Hyde?

) HYDE: (Winding watch.) That's right, buddy.
(nakrecajc zegarek) Dokladnie, stary.

) KELSO: Oops. (Purposely drops the ball.) Little help, Donna?
O, kurcze. (specjalnie wypuszcza z dloni pilke) Podasz, Donna?

) DONNA: Sure. (She bends down and picks up the ball as the guys check out her
) ass while cheering.) Catch this, tool! (She lobs the ball at his head, but he
) ducks.)
Nie ma sprawy. (Schyla sie i podnosi pilke, a chlopcy ogladaja jej tylek
pohukujac) To dla ciebie, aparacie! (Rzuca pilke w jego glowe, on sie jednak
uchyla)

) KELSO: What was that for?
A to za co?

) DONNA: You keep dropping the ball!
Pilka ci ciagle z rak leci!

) KELSO: So I'm a butterfingers! Isn't that punishment enough? Now look. The
) balls all the way over there in the back yard. A little help, Donna? (She
) punches his arm.) Ahh! Fine! I'll get it! God! (He storms off to get the
) ball.)
Bo mam palce z masla! Czy to nie jest wystarczajaca kara? Patrz, pilka jest az
tam, na podworku. Podasz, Donna? (ona uderza go w ramie) Aj! No dobra! Juz
nie bede! Tez mi wielka sprawa! (rzuca sie w bieg po pilke)

) JACKIE: (walking up to them all.) Hey, Steven. I had a fun last night.
(podchodzac do nich) Czesc, Steven. Wczoraj wieczorem mialam fajnie.

) KELSO: (Bounding back to them with the basketball in his hands.) You had fun
) doing what?
(wracajac w ich kierunku z pilka w rece) Mialas fajnie z czym?

) JACKIE: Huh? Hey! Michael! I went to the movies. Right Donna?
Co? Czesc, Michael! Bylam w kinie. Nie? Donna?

) DONNA: Oh, um, I don't know. I was with Eric

[chris-joe]

> DONNA: Oh, um, I don't know. I was with Eric all night. But I'm really
> interested in this movie. Why don't you tell us all about it?
No, tak, znaczy sie nie wiem. Bylam caly wieczor z Eric'iem. Ale chcialabym
zobaczyc ten film. Opowiedz o czym byl.

> JACKIE: Donna! Fine. You know, it's that new movie starring that big red
> whore.
W porzadku, Donna. Wiesz, to ten nowy film z ta gruba ruda dziwka w roli
glownej.

> DONNA: Oh, you mean the one where the big red whore is sick of people keeping
> secrets?
Tak? Z ta gruba ruda dziwka, co ma dosyc ludzkich sekretow?

> JACKIE: No, no, no. The one where the big red whore keeps sticking her big
> red nose in places where it doesn't belong?
Nie, nie. Z ta gruba ruda dziwka, co wpycha swoj nos w nie swoje sprawy?

> ERIC: Hey, watch what you say about the big red whore.
Ty, uwazaj co mowisz o tej grubej rudej dziwce.

> FEZ: Thank you, Eric. What did Sissy Spacek ever do to any of you?
Dzieki, Eric. A co wam zlego zrobila Sissy Spacek?

> KELSO: Way to go, guys. You know how he feels about Sissy! (He throws down
> the ball then storms after the little foreign kid.) Fez, wait!
Tak trzymac. Przeciez wiecie co on ma do Sissy! (rzuca pilke na ziemie i pedzi
do cudzoziemsko wygladajacego chlopaka) Fez, poczekaj!

> JACKIE: Donna, what is with you?
Donna, o co ci chodzi?

> DONNA: Look, I'm sick of covering for your creepy, unnatural relationship,
> and I shouldn't have to. I mean, Hyde, you and Kelso have been friends
> forever, and you owe it to him to tell him.
Rzygac mi sie chce od ukrywania twojego dziwacznego, nienormalnego romansu i
mam dosc byc do tego zmuszona. Przeciez, Hyde, jestes kumplem Kelso od lat, i
chyba mu sie nalezy, bys powiedzial mu o tym.

> ERIC: Yeah, this is way worse than when you stole his headgear and used it to
> clean out your sink.
Jasne, bo to jest znacznie gorsze od tego, jak mu ukradlas czapke by nia umyc
swoj zlew.

> HYDE: It's tough love, man.
Milosc to nie bajka, stary.

> DONNA: You know what? Forget it. You obviously don't care about Kelso or any
> of the rest of us.
Wiesz co? Skonczmy. Ciebie nie obchodzi ani Kelso, ani nikt z nas.

> ERIC: Yeah, 'cause when this blows up, guess what, we're all screwed.
Tak jest, bo gdy to sie wyda, to wiesz co? wszyscy mamy przechlapane.

> JACKIE: Steven…do you really think we're a creepy, unnatural couple?
Steven, czy naprawde uwazasz, ze jestesmy dziwaczna, nienormalna para?

> HYDE: Come on. It's a crazy question. I mean, if this relationship wasn't
> just a little bit creepy and unnatural I wouldn't be in it.
Daj spokoj. To glupie pytanie. Chodzi o to, ze jesli ten romans nie bylby
choc troche dziwaczny i nienormalny, to bym go nie kontynuowal.

(pheew! this was the first and the last time I did that :)